sugarloaf ♥ express

If you knew that something bad will happen to your friend(s), what would you do?
If you could see your friend(s)' hearts and knew their true feelings & "the truth", what would you do?
If you knew that there's a big cross lying in front of you and you have to face it, what would you do?
If you knew that it's gonna be very hard, would you still walk steadily towards the cross?

I've been overly sentimental during the last 3 months.
There are so many things going on around me that lead me slowly but surely to the cross I will have to bear...
I got the vision two years ago, and until today I'm still trying to fight it. But I know it's inevitable & I will have to go through it. For what purpose? I don't know for sure. All I know is... as I am blessing others (the friends in my vision), I will also be blessed.

Three months ago, something happened that serves as a start mark of the cross.
So it's currently in the process, for God knows how long. As much as I have to bear it, though, I'm always tempted to say... "Oh my dear Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but thy will be done."

Do I have a choice?
Choices might be for other people, but not for me.
My destiny has been carved deep inside my soul ever since I was born, and no matter where I try to run or hide from it, I could never find solitude, if I don't go back to the Hands that carved me in the first place.

And yet I know... all these happened / will happen because God loves me so much and wants to make use of me.
It's just so hard to walk with knowing things beforehand.
Really.
I just wish I didn't know.

But what happens is rather... I'm pretending I do not know.

Aaaah, I can finally breathe (a little).

LIFE THUS FAR...

ISAO (ICCRS Sub-Committee for Asia Oceania) Conference was soooo hectic! I stayed at Mercure hotel Ancol starting on Sep 12 till 18, sharing the deluxe room with my 2 friends (Vera & Ria). Every night we slept for only 3-4 hours, going to bed mostly after 4 am. Throughout the day, we took care of so many things: on Sep 13 & 14 we alternated between the registration, help desk, and accommodation posts. We initially thought that after the peak of the hecticness on Sep 14 had passed, we could rest and relax a bit.

WRONG!
There was always something (or a lot of things) that we had to do on Sep 15 - 18.
Sep 15: taking care of some registrations & help desk.
Sep 16-17: doing the rooming list for Novotel (the participants moved to Novotel Mangga Dua on Sep 18) & some secretarial works.
(Plus, my roommate Ria had to take care of a very sick participant from the Philippines on the night of Sep 16, taking him to the ER at a nearby hospital, staying with the family till 3 am, and was awaken at 7.45 am by a call from his son that he had died 30 minutes before. So she flew to the hospital right away, and helped the family with all the funeral processes: the medical record, death certificate, the Philippines Embassy, the cargo to Manila, the funeral services, etc etc. Thank God the Filipino conference participants' group leader is a priest -- Fr. Bart Pastor, so the Filipino family felt better as they had someone they could count on in this country away from their home. My friend Ria helped the Filipino family everyday until they left for Manila on Sep 20. God bless her heart!).
Sep 18: our youth band was in charge of the praise & worship session before today's conference, and songs for the closing mass, so my friends and I were singing since early morning. The hecticness continued in the afternoon till late at night, for after lunch, the participants moved to JITEC for the revival & healing rally in the evening & stayed at Novotel Mangga Dua that night. The walkway from Novotel to JITEC was really confusing, we had to help the international participants to get there safely. I and Vera and a few fellow secretariat team fell asleep for about half an hour when Fr. Rufus Pereira was speaking on the stage (before the healing prayers began) :P Finally, after a looooong and hectic night, I arrived home safely at 1 am. OMG soooo tired! >_<

Thank God we had a mass everyday during the conference!
Now when it's over, I breathed a sigh of relief, but I really missed it. Somehow, in our hearts, something is missing... Vera and Ria both have the same feeling.
We got to meet so many nice international friends (although most of them are well over 50 years old!), great bishops & priests from all around Asia & Oceania (and even one cool priest from the USA who's stationed in Marshall Islands, Fr. James Gould SJ), and we made new awesome friends from fellow ISAO Conference committee, young and old. We learned a lot from working with various people in the team. We got so many blessings from the preparation and during the conference itself.

Vera (my international registration partner) & I were even showered with a lot of gifts from the appreciative international participants (one lovely Japanese lady - grandma, actually :P - & her group were so thrilled when they finally met me. She was so cute, I saw her jumping up & down a little bit while shaking my hand -- like an SD anime character! *lol* Now I have 7 Japanese friends! :D).

Photos have been uploaded to Facebook (I don't have time to upload 'em to Flickr; maybe later): click here for the full ISAO Conference album.
Friend me on Facebook if you can't open the album, since it might have something to do with my Facebook privacy.

OH FLUFF! :D

Like I said in the previous post, I couldn't take a rest right away after the conference ended, since I had to take care of my own jobs, after abandoning them for two weeks. But I thought I'd be able to rest a lot after Sep 21.

WRONG again!
There was a treasure hunt going on at (fluff)Friends on Facebook, from Sep 11-30. Alas, I was busy digging every night until morning came :P So basically I continued to be lacking sleep until the treasure hunt ended on Sep 30. Thank God it's finally over!

Now I can finally go back to normal life and catch up the things I've been abandoning, postponing, and delaying this past 1+ months.

DORAMA GALORE

Let's summarize this as a continuation to my previous post (Japanese Overdose: the beginning).

Basically, after I wrote that entry, I started to explore a lot of dramas, movies, and actors/actresses by downloading endlessly. I also downloaded a lot of videos (non-drama, non-movie), mostly TV shows, games, talk shows, concerts, etc. Now my 1 TB external harddisk only has 180+ gb left! Oh nooeess! *_*

In trying to search which dramas to watch, I stumbled upon this Crunchyroll forum.
From there, I started to download Korean dramas, since my friend also told me that the Korean guys are so much more masculine than the Japanese, and their bodies are so much sexier & more built! :D I got turned off by the sound of Korean language initially, but after a few dramas, I finally got used to it. I still don't like the language, but I got hooked on a few Korean actors already, so the language is not a (big) problem anymore :P

From that CR forum, the K-actors experience started from Kwon Sang Woo, Dennis O'Neil, Gong Yoo, Daniel Henney, Hyun Bin, Jo In Sung, Won Bin, Kim Rae Won (because my friend likes him), Lee Wan, and Yoon Kye Sang.
Although most of them have good-looking face & great body, I only like and crave for more of Hyun Bin, Won Bin, and Dennis O'Neil. The biggest reason of why I don't really swoon over Korean actors is because of their eyes. I like most Japanese eyes, they're big & nicely almond-shaped. I don't like chinky-eyed actors.

I tried a few Taiwanese dramas, but those failed miserably. I didn't like, don't like, and will never like the Chinese language (although I'm Chinese myself) and how it sounds! I did try learning the Mandarin for about a year, and honestly I never like it. I was only curious with Vic Zhou and Mike He.

As for the Japanese dramas/movies.... they're neverending! Simply because I get hooked on one actor over another all the time :D
From Tamaki, Nao, and Kassy, the J-actors experience continued to (I will only list the actors I kinda like & crave for more) Takuya Kimura, Hiroshi Abe, Satoshi Tsumabuki, Tomohisa Yamashita (Yamapi), Yutaka Takenouchi, Jin Akanishi, Takashi Tsukamoto.
There are a lot more J-actors whose dramas/movies I've watched, but I don't particularly like them, such as Toma Ikuta, Hideaki Takizawa, Osamu Mukai, Ryo Nishikido, etc (the others are not worth mentioning, since I don't like them at all, although I might watch their dramas provided that the story & other actors/actresses are good).

Of those I mentioned above, I swoon over Nao, Kassy, and Yamapi (coz he's handsome, sexy, and dances very well! *drools*). Since Nao & Yamapi are singers as well, I also diligently download their concerts, talkshows, etc. In Yamapi's case, since he's a part of NEWS, I download all of NEWS videos. I also follow Jin closely & download his videos (and some of KAT-TUN's because he's in it -- although I don't really like the other 5 guys!), since Jin is a smart guy who speaks pretty good English, has a good laugh (and teeth! :P), can sing very well (his voice is the best out of the 6 members), and he shines. It surprises me at first, but now I can settle for the much younger! *gasps*

I might need to buy another 1 TB external hard disk for next year! *lol*

Bottomline: the Japanese overdose is neverending! :3

PS: That's Kassy on the userpic, during his most handsome days.

Is there a topic you can't stop writing about in your journal? Why do you write about it so much?

LIFE!
Of course, I will never grow tired talking about my life. As long as I'm alive, I will always talk about life and everything in between :)
Because, there are just so many aspects of life that I can explore, think about, experience, discuss, and share. I will never run out of subtopics when writing about life.

And all of the readers will say, "Of course we all talk about our lives! Duh." :P

Alright, my bad.

Let's make the answer a fun one.
I probably can never stop writing about travelling in my journal. Simply because I love it forever.

I just realized (eeeh, really? :P) that even though I'm still the same old Elyse, my interests have somehow shifted. I still browse endlessly and procrastinate all the time, though :D That quality might never change, no matter how old I am *lol*

Here are a few thoughts & activities that have been happening in my daily life lately:

1. Twitter is my number one source of what's happening in the world (offline & online), through the people I'm following. I'm very well informed with world & local news, as well as technology-related news through their twits. But since twitter is often down lately, I haven't received as many twits as I used to... And more twitter competitors are coming out to take the market share, such as the very successful Friendfeed, and recently Plurk. Add me if you haven't already :D

2. I'm closely following the spur of web 2.0 services (mostly through twitter). I'll sign up as beta testers just to secure my username, above all things. Usually I don't use the service, but I might check it back if it turns out to be useful. By now I can't even remember what sites I've signed up to :P I just remember the few that I'm using actively daily.

3. Even though I'm always in jdramas / jmovies / j-tv shows downloading spree in the last 4 months, I rarely watch them. I just download, open them to check whether the files are working well or not, then let them lie around in my 1 TB external hdd. By now I have around 350+ gb of videos (probably around 50+ drama/movie titles & uncounted tv shows & other videos). It's all for the sake of collection :P

4. I don't watch anime anymore, except for Detective Conan movies. I still occasionally read manga (I buy them, since I'm still following some titles), but I don't download manga scanlations anymore. Maybe someday I'll catch up on them.

5. I regularly sleep after 5 am, unless I have a morning meeting or I'm too tired. It's been proven useless to sleep early (i.e. 10 or 11pm), since I'm gonna be wide awake at 1 or 2 am anyway. Lately my quality of sleep is really bad. I've been awaken every 2-4 hours, sometimes even every 1-2 hours or less. Just so you know: I've been like this since birth, so it's not a surprise or a disease. I do know the reason, but I'm not saying :P I've tried to normalize my sleep cycle so many times, but failed miserably. So I gave up & decided to follow whatever my body wants, with some exceptions.

6. I don't exercise, that's why my stomach fat is getting bigger & bigger! O_O

7. Wikipedia is where I search firsthand for any info. The latest interesting info is about The Knights Templar.

8. Although I can be considered a techie, I'm lazy to respond to emails. I don't really chat much as well. I always prefer face-to-face hangouts or phone calls.

9. I just loooove Real Player 11, for I can download videos easily at any video sites using its "download this video" button! Totally saves my day!

10. My normal browsing mode is 2 windows & 60+ tabs at one time. Could be more tabs depending on what I'm browsing. Almost 2 months ago, I'm used to have twice the number: 4 windows and 120+ tabs open at one time! However, Firefox is slower now rather than before. I wonder why... perhaps the increasing numbers of add-ons that I have installed.

11. I'm sad that I can't go to World Youth Day, but I'll sure be shopping for their merchandise!

12. I wish there were 30 hours a day, so I can focus more of my time for my photography hobby: touching up photos & post them on Flickr & my neglected photoblog.

13. I wanna learn Japanese! I love the language (especially how it sounds), I can already read hiragana & katakana, but I hate the kanji. I'll probably just learn the spoken Japanese, so that I can understand the RAW videos :P And also I can converse with the locals when I go to Japan xD


I'll probably add more as I think of more things. Hmm... 7 am. Time to sleep! :D

What are 10 things you are thankful for?

1. My life. Being alive. Being able to see the world.
2. My family (parents, brother, grandparents, etc).
3. My faith & gifts. It's a privilege. It's God's deepest desire within me.
4. My health.
5. My past, present, and future. Of what was, what is, what will come my way.
6. My friends. True friends.
7. My community. Domus Cordis.
8. The internet!
9. The opportunities which I have so luckily had ever since I was born.
10. My brain.

The list might change every once in a while according to priorities & things that happen in my life as the days go by.
Or I might just post a new list by then ^^

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sometimes I miss the old time...

The time when my web dedication was much higher, the facility was much better, and the resources were more available. Of course I was speaking about my university years in the US. It was only 8 years ago, and the web has developed in an amazing speed! And as I continue to age through the years, my dedication has decreased and my interests have shifted greatly.

I used to write everyday, sometimes more than one entry each day. My old journal is the proof of the old glory. I used to maintain a few websites, including the late ikkoku.net. But see what's left of me now... only a simple pink (which actually isn't a favorite color) portal to my small collections of journals and galleries. I don't even design the layouts anymore.

Ah, speaking about layout designs & themes... That's one thing I miss from the old time. I used to design lots of them for my websites and weblog, but nowadays, with the convenience of available themes and templates, one is pampered too much. As for me, that reduces my creativity in designing. It's much more convenient to implement ready-to-install CMS or publishing platforms, and apply the widely available beautiful themes and templates. I do wish I could learn to make my own CMS/platform, or create my own theme... But I know that's impossible, given the place I currently live, the activities and jobs I have, the lack of facility, tools, and resources, and also the time... Time is precious. Time changes everything.

While searching for the perfect theme, I stumbled upon these amazing designs: part 1, part 2, part 3. I wish I could have half of their talents! I also wish I could devote my time to learning more css... My eyes are green with envy upon seeing how wonderful the folks featured at CSS Bloom are. Ahh.. the things that I miss... Maybe it's the trait of growing older, or maybe I'm just lazy, but I seem to miss a lot on the fast development of the web technology ever since I went back to Indonesia. There are so many web terms that I don't completely understand still. Scrobbling, for instance. They invent so many web terms that I have a hard time catching up with. I know I could learn if I want to, but to devote my time for the web technology while my job doesn't revolve around it requires such a big effort, and I have to lose sleep for it. And no, I can't afford to lose my sleeping hours... Yes, I sound so old, I know =P

So, to summarize, I think everything relates to the choices of life. I chose the activities I want to do, the jobs I want to take, and the interests I want to devote my time to. And there are things that I have to sacrifice, obviously. Although I sometimes miss the past, I have decided to lose sleep once in a while for the satisfaction of the soul and compensation of the sacrifices. Such as browsing endlessly for eyecandy designs, and satisfying the hunger of my eyes with the 50 beautiful css-based web designs and 83 beautiful wordpress themes :)

And here's just a little proof of the today's glory that was produced from a lot of sacrifices and efforts. If you understand what I mean..

All in all, it goes back to my life's motto: Carpe Diem.

See, even everything now has its wiki page for easy explanation!