elyse: (bakanishi: reflective)
Reality struck me as the clock turns 00.00 on July 8th:

I'M 30 YEARS OLD, starting TODAY! (*゜ロ゜);

But... as the saying goes... "Life begins at 30", so I'm just gonna enjoy myself for the next 10 years and say the same thing all over again when I reach 40: "Life begins at 40"! *LOL*

[livejournal.com profile] utaoutao made me a very nice drawing of Jin wishing me a happy birthday! ~~~ヾ(^∇^)
ありがとうございます ピナちゃん~
\(^ ^)/

So, without large fonts and sparkly colorful background (like I did to Jin's birthday post below):

Happy Birthday to myself!

I fall down, but I get up again.
I lose faith in people.... and I start trusting all over again.

The cycle never ends.... but I know God's love will always fill me up whenever I'm at the bottom of the cycle.
elyse: (saki fukuda: white flower)
The things I need to do, starting from now!

Re-manage my LJ tags! They really need reorganizing & regrouping / recategorizing. Too many & too cluttered! I find it hard to search for an entry with the messy tags >_<

★ Share less. As much as I wanna share more, I've been too carefree with my sharings lately, I really should stop doing so! It might be a boomerang to me in the end. I have to control my expressiveness and extroversion in this case!

★ When I do share, though, I really must be extra careful with my words. It's been proven true, based on my experience in my whole life, and especially during the last few weeks, that people generally are either afraid of the harsh reality / truth, or they're simply just being defensive or blatantly refuse/reject them.

★ Don't trust anyone too much. Again, I've been too carefree with my trust lately, it's just gonna be a boomerang in the end.

★ Maintain a better relationship with Father, much better than I've been doing :)

★ Worry not about the cross, the future, the destruction, the whatever bad things in my visions, until they really do happen (although it might be too late then, but oh well. I have to try to live like a normal person! -_-;;).

★ Enjoy my life with the (very few) ones who really care about me, sincerely and unfakingly. I really should cherish them for being true to themselves and me :3

Let this reminder be my early birthday resolution, exactly 1 month before my 30th birthday ^^
elyse: (two umbrellas in rain)
If you knew that something bad will happen to your friend(s), what would you do?
If you could see your friend(s)' hearts and knew their true feelings & "the truth", what would you do?
If you knew that there's a big cross lying in front of you and you have to face it, what would you do?
If you knew that it's gonna be very hard, would you still walk steadily towards the cross?

I've been overly sentimental during the last 3 months.
There are so many things going on around me that lead me slowly but surely to the cross I will have to bear...
I got the vision two years ago, and until today I'm still trying to fight it. But I know it's inevitable & I will have to go through it. For what purpose? I don't know for sure. All I know is... as I am blessing others (the friends in my vision), I will also be blessed.

Three months ago, something happened that serves as a start mark of the cross.
So it's currently in the process, for God knows how long. As much as I have to bear it, though, I'm always tempted to say... "Oh my dear Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but thy will be done."

Do I have a choice?
Choices might be for other people, but not for me.
My destiny has been carved deep inside my soul ever since I was born, and no matter where I try to run or hide from it, I could never find solitude, if I don't go back to the Hands that carved me in the first place.

And yet I know... all these happened / will happen because God loves me so much and wants to make use of me.
It's just so hard to walk with knowing things beforehand.
I just wish I didn't know.

But what happens is rather... I'm pretending I do not know.
elyse: (nana: hachi - alone)

Because I realize that even though time goes by so fast, the world doesn't change...
Because I'm always the one to smile bitterly at the 'truth' that I've already known beforehand...
Because, in the end, "care " doesn't really belong to this world...
Because 自分を信じて (jibun wo shinjite / believe in yourself) was, is, and will always be my truth...

This is the song of my heart.
Sung by one of the most shining souls in this world ♥

Care - 赤西仁
詞:  赤西仁


あと何年かすれば 思い出になる だから
忘れかけてた記憶と今を ふと重ねてみたんだ

大切なもの抱えすぎて 歩きづらくなった今日

いつだって僕ら きっと誰だって
倒れかかったって 踏み出す力を
きっとそこには 泣いた分の笑顔が待ってる

すぎてく日々で 何か見失いかけた
そんなふうに そう自分のほうから
つないだ手を ほどけないように

例えば君が 傷ついたとしても
疲れて僕に 寄りかかる日は

いつだって僕ら きっと誰だって
きっとそこには 泣いた分の笑顔が待ってる

credit: [livejournal.com profile] goro_chan
elyse: (nana: hachi - la la la)
Aaaah, I can finally breathe (a little).


ISAO (ICCRS Sub-Committee for Asia Oceania) Conference was soooo hectic! I stayed at Mercure hotel Ancol starting on Sep 12 till 18, sharing the deluxe room with my 2 friends (Vera & Ria). Every night we slept for only 3-4 hours, going to bed mostly after 4 am. Throughout the day, we took care of so many things: on Sep 13 & 14 we alternated between the registration, help desk, and accommodation posts. We initially thought that after the peak of the hecticness on Sep 14 had passed, we could rest and relax a bit.

There was always something (or a lot of things) that we had to do on Sep 15 - 18.
Sep 15: taking care of some registrations & help desk.
Sep 16-17: doing the rooming list for Novotel (the participants moved to Novotel Mangga Dua on Sep 18) & some secretarial works.
(Plus, my roommate Ria had to take care of a very sick participant from the Philippines on the night of Sep 16, taking him to the ER at a nearby hospital, staying with the family till 3 am, and was awaken at 7.45 am by a call from his son that he had died 30 minutes before. So she flew to the hospital right away, and helped the family with all the funeral processes: the medical record, death certificate, the Philippines Embassy, the cargo to Manila, the funeral services, etc etc. Thank God the Filipino conference participants' group leader is a priest -- Fr. Bart Pastor, so the Filipino family felt better as they had someone they could count on in this country away from their home. My friend Ria helped the Filipino family everyday until they left for Manila on Sep 20. God bless her heart!).
Sep 18: our youth band was in charge of the praise & worship session before today's conference, and songs for the closing mass, so my friends and I were singing since early morning. The hecticness continued in the afternoon till late at night, for after lunch, the participants moved to JITEC for the revival & healing rally in the evening & stayed at Novotel Mangga Dua that night. The walkway from Novotel to JITEC was really confusing, we had to help the international participants to get there safely. I and Vera and a few fellow secretariat team fell asleep for about half an hour when Fr. Rufus Pereira was speaking on the stage (before the healing prayers began) :P Finally, after a looooong and hectic night, I arrived home safely at 1 am. OMG soooo tired! >_<

Thank God we had a mass everyday during the conference!
Now when it's over, I breathed a sigh of relief, but I really missed it. Somehow, in our hearts, something is missing... Vera and Ria both have the same feeling.
We got to meet so many nice international friends (although most of them are well over 50 years old!), great bishops & priests from all around Asia & Oceania (and even one cool priest from the USA who's stationed in Marshall Islands, Fr. James Gould SJ), and we made new awesome friends from fellow ISAO Conference committee, young and old. We learned a lot from working with various people in the team. We got so many blessings from the preparation and during the conference itself.

Vera (my international registration partner) & I were even showered with a lot of gifts from the appreciative international participants (one lovely Japanese lady - grandma, actually :P - & her group were so thrilled when they finally met me. She was so cute, I saw her jumping up & down a little bit while shaking my hand -- like an SD anime character! *lol* Now I have 7 Japanese friends! :D).

Photos have been uploaded to Facebook (I don't have time to upload 'em to Flickr; maybe later): click here for the full ISAO Conference album.
Friend me on Facebook if you can't open the album, since it might have something to do with my Facebook privacy.


Like I said in the previous post, I couldn't take a rest right away after the conference ended, since I had to take care of my own jobs, after abandoning them for two weeks. But I thought I'd be able to rest a lot after Sep 21.

WRONG again!
There was a treasure hunt going on at (fluff)Friends on Facebook, from Sep 11-30. Alas, I was busy digging every night until morning came :P So basically I continued to be lacking sleep until the treasure hunt ended on Sep 30. Thank God it's finally over!

Now I can finally go back to normal life and catch up the things I've been abandoning, postponing, and delaying this past 1+ months.


Let's summarize this as a continuation to my previous post (Japanese Overdose: the beginning).

Basically, after I wrote that entry, I started to explore a lot of dramas, movies, and actors/actresses by downloading endlessly. I also downloaded a lot of videos (non-drama, non-movie), mostly TV shows, games, talk shows, concerts, etc. Now my 1 TB external harddisk only has 180+ gb left! Oh nooeess! *_*

In trying to search which dramas to watch, I stumbled upon this Crunchyroll forum.
From there, I started to download Korean dramas, since my friend also told me that the Korean guys are so much more masculine than the Japanese, and their bodies are so much sexier & more built! :D I got turned off by the sound of Korean language initially, but after a few dramas, I finally got used to it. I still don't like the language, but I got hooked on a few Korean actors already, so the language is not a (big) problem anymore :P

From that CR forum, the K-actors experience started from Kwon Sang Woo, Dennis O'Neil, Gong Yoo, Daniel Henney, Hyun Bin, Jo In Sung, Won Bin, Kim Rae Won (because my friend likes him), Lee Wan, and Yoon Kye Sang.
Although most of them have good-looking face & great body, I only like and crave for more of Hyun Bin, Won Bin, and Dennis O'Neil. The biggest reason of why I don't really swoon over Korean actors is because of their eyes. I like most Japanese eyes, they're big & nicely almond-shaped. I don't like chinky-eyed actors.

I tried a few Taiwanese dramas, but those failed miserably. I didn't like, don't like, and will never like the Chinese language (although I'm Chinese myself) and how it sounds! I did try learning the Mandarin for about a year, and honestly I never like it. I was only curious with Vic Zhou and Mike He.

As for the Japanese dramas/movies.... they're neverending! Simply because I get hooked on one actor over another all the time :D
From Tamaki, Nao, and Kassy, the J-actors experience continued to (I will only list the actors I kinda like & crave for more) Takuya Kimura, Hiroshi Abe, Satoshi Tsumabuki, Tomohisa Yamashita (Yamapi), Yutaka Takenouchi, Jin Akanishi, Takashi Tsukamoto.
There are a lot more J-actors whose dramas/movies I've watched, but I don't particularly like them, such as Toma Ikuta, Hideaki Takizawa, Osamu Mukai, Ryo Nishikido, etc (the others are not worth mentioning, since I don't like them at all, although I might watch their dramas provided that the story & other actors/actresses are good).

Of those I mentioned above, I swoon over Nao, Kassy, and Yamapi (coz he's handsome, sexy, and dances very well! *drools*). Since Nao & Yamapi are singers as well, I also diligently download their concerts, talkshows, etc. In Yamapi's case, since he's a part of NEWS, I download all of NEWS videos. I also follow Jin closely & download his videos (and some of KAT-TUN's because he's in it -- although I don't really like the other 5 guys!), since Jin is a smart guy who speaks pretty good English, has a good laugh (and teeth! :P), can sing very well (his voice is the best out of the 6 members), and he shines. It surprises me at first, but now I can settle for the much younger! *gasps*

I might need to buy another 1 TB external hard disk for next year! *lol*

Bottomline: the Japanese overdose is neverending! :3

PS: That's Kassy on the userpic, during his most handsome days.
elyse: (coffee love: not a morning person!)

Starting today, I will be leaving home to stay at Mercure Hotel Ancol (still in Jakarta) for a week to take care of the international registrations of ISAO Conference (Asia-Oceania Catholic conference) that takes place on Sep 14 - 18. I won't be able to go home, I think, except there's an emergency, and who knows whether I'll be able to go online at all. The most hectic days will be on Sep 13, 14, and 18, when the (international) participants arrive (mostly on Sep 13  &14) and move to Novotel for a rally on Sep 18 evening.

Actually most of the participants will depart Novotel to the airport on Sep 19 & 20, but I'm SO taking a break on those days. I'm going home straight after the rally on Sep 18. The conference hasn't started yet, but I'm already so tired & always lacking sleep. God knows how I'll be when it ends.

However, I won't be able to take a full rest until after Sep 21, because I have a meeting on Sep 19, a friend's baby's baptism on Sep 20, a wedding reception to take care of on Sep 20, a wedding ceremony to sing on Sep 21, and yet another meeting right after the ceremony on Sep 21. Heeeeelllppp...!! ~_~

After that, I hope I can sleep 12 hours a day for a week! :D
elyse: (fashion: ferriswheel)
Is there a topic you can't stop writing about in your journal? Why do you write about it so much?

Of course, I will never grow tired talking about my life. As long as I'm alive, I will always talk about life and everything in between :)
Because, there are just so many aspects of life that I can explore, think about, experience, discuss, and share. I will never run out of subtopics when writing about life.

And all of the readers will say, "Of course we all talk about our lives! Duh." :P

Alright, my bad.

Let's make the answer a fun one.
I probably can never stop writing about travelling in my journal. Simply because I love it forever.
elyse: (dailycandy: travel galore!)
Yes, I love travelling to the point that I live & work to travel :P
But nowadays I can't travel without internet access, honestly. That means, I have to stay in a hotel that provides broadband internet access (be it free or not) in the room. I'm paralyzed without internet. Why?
Because I do a lot of research there, especially when travelling.

For instance, when I went to Hong Kong last month, since it's been more than 12 years of my last Hong Kong trip, I don't remember anything about it except for The Peak.
So I have to research on the net as to where to stay, in which area, what tourist spots are present around the hotel area, where the shopping centers are, where to go for sightseeing, where the closest Catholic churches (preferably with English mass) are, which restaurants are recommended, how to go there (if the city has train or subway system, I usually prefer that rather than bus), save/print the train/subway map, etc.
The research can be much simplified if I can ask someone (either a relative or a friend) who lives in that city. Good thing I have a cousin in Hong Kong, so she helped with the hotel booking (she's the one who chose the hotel, because it's close to the place we had to go, and also because there's a very big mall right next to the hotel. So she thought it would've been much easier for us to shop & eat). I really like her choice. If I'm not too lazy, I'll post the Hong Kong trip's story next time ^^

I usually do research a few weeks or even months beforehand. Just to be sure that I'm well informed & prepared. If I haven't been to the place, I like to prepare way beforehand, so that I won't be clueless when I arrive at the place. I usually create an itinerary of where to go on which date & save it in my laptop, so that I can easily access it anytime.

My Japan trip last January was created purely out of my research, because I hadn't been to Japan previously, I don't know anyone there (well, I actually do have a friend, but I forgot to contact her :P), and my mom - who had been to Japan 10 times before - didn't know the tourist spots because she always went there on a business trip! Good thing I have a pretty vast knowledge of Tokyo, so at least I know where to go and what to do. Oh, that reminds me, part 3 of my Christmas vacation (which is the Japan trip) hasn't been written yet. Oops :P

The research is not only done beforehand, but also when I'm actually there (in Hong Kong or Tokyo, for instance).  Sometimes we have a sudden plan of going to a certain tourist spot & we'd like to know more about it, thus I research. In Hong Kong last month, we suddenly wanted to visit Macau for a day trip. So, in addition to asking the concierge about the ferry details, I researched: checked the Macau map, searched for public transportation, decided which places (casinos & tourist spots) to go, etc.

Two of the primary sites I read for my travelling needs are Wikipedia and Wikitravel.
Although I don't have travelling plans in mind, I love to browse through those sites and other travel sites, such as Lonely Planet, Frommers, Travel + Leisure, Concierge, Time Out, etc. I also read travel books a lot.
On the main page of Wikitravel, you'll see "Destination of the Month". I'm currently browsing on the Previous Destinations of the month and stumbled upon so many beautiful places I want to visit / revisit, such as:
elyse: (la corda d'oro: kazuki hihara)
Happy birthday to myself! :D

I'm 29 now, only 1 year away from being 30.
Somehow, during the last few months, I kept thinking that I'm now 30. Somehow I just felt like skipping the age of 29. I thought I'd rather be 30 for 2 years *lol* But no... 29 is a good age. I'll be sure to enjoy & treasure the last year of my twenties to the best I can!

Anyhow, as with previous birthdays, although I haven't really expected anything, God always managed to surprise me with some kind of a gift before the birthday. This year is no exception :3

A friend asked me 2 hours before my birthday, "You're gonna be 29 now. How do you feel?"
I'm like... "Eh? Just the same as today, yesterday, and the days before that. Should it be any different?"

Then another friend asked me 1 hour before my birthday, "What are you going to do at 12 am?" (that is, when my birthday came).
Me: "Er... browsing?"
She was astounded, "No cake?" (and she's going to be 31 this year, btw).
Me: "At 29? Oh come on, cake is so old-fashioned & for teenagers. I don't do that anymore. Besides, there's only my family in the house, and I don't really like cake, coz it's too sweeeet" (FYI, I don't really like sweets).

Yup, that's right. My birthdays are usually spent in serenity. Nothing fancy, not much surprise, no festivity. I've always been comfortable being in the silence of the night (because that's how my body chooses to work), and so should my birthday be, year after year. Perhaps because the day always falls on a vacation, wherever you are in the world, so people can't really make a great deal out of my birthdays. It's so nice to be in a constant holiday during my birthdays for the rest of my life :)

However, the tradition continues. My family and I are going to eat fine Japanese cuisine at Nadaman (Shangri-La Hotel) tomorrow evening. Yum :9

Added on 11 PM:

As much as I wanted a quiet birthday, I was given a surprise this evening.
My 2 close friends know about my habit of going to daily evening mass at St. Theresia's church (although not everyday :P)
So they saw my car there & when I was still having the mass inside the church, they bought a birthday cake and entered my car.
So when the mass was finished, I went to the car & opened the door, and there they were... screaming "Happy birthdaaaay!" with a cheesecake.
I was surprised, but then I noticed the cake didn't have candles on it *lol*
Apparently they were in a hurry, and couldn't bother to find a lighter or matches, because they were afraid I would've gone by then.

My mom, who went with me to the church, did have a gut feeling when she saw the car & our driver acting a bit weird. She thought to herself, "Hm, I wonder if there's someone in the car".
After that, my mom treated me to an Italian dinner at Puro Ristorante e Bar. Actually I chose the place :D

It was a slightly more-than-ordinary fun day ^^
elyse: (la corda d'oro: kazuki hihara with glass)
I just realized (eeeh, really? :P) that even though I'm still the same old Elyse, my interests have somehow shifted. I still browse endlessly and procrastinate all the time, though :D That quality might never change, no matter how old I am *lol*

Here are a few thoughts & activities that have been happening in my daily life lately:

1. Twitter is my number one source of what's happening in the world (offline & online), through the people I'm following. I'm very well informed with world & local news, as well as technology-related news through their twits. But since twitter is often down lately, I haven't received as many twits as I used to... And more twitter competitors are coming out to take the market share, such as the very successful Friendfeed, and recently Plurk. Add me if you haven't already :D

2. I'm closely following the spur of web 2.0 services (mostly through twitter). I'll sign up as beta testers just to secure my username, above all things. Usually I don't use the service, but I might check it back if it turns out to be useful. By now I can't even remember what sites I've signed up to :P I just remember the few that I'm using actively daily.

3. Even though I'm always in jdramas / jmovies / j-tv shows downloading spree in the last 4 months, I rarely watch them. I just download, open them to check whether the files are working well or not, then let them lie around in my 1 TB external hdd. By now I have around 350+ gb of videos (probably around 50+ drama/movie titles & uncounted tv shows & other videos). It's all for the sake of collection :P

4. I don't watch anime anymore, except for Detective Conan movies. I still occasionally read manga (I buy them, since I'm still following some titles), but I don't download manga scanlations anymore. Maybe someday I'll catch up on them.

5. I regularly sleep after 5 am, unless I have a morning meeting or I'm too tired. It's been proven useless to sleep early (i.e. 10 or 11pm), since I'm gonna be wide awake at 1 or 2 am anyway. Lately my quality of sleep is really bad. I've been awaken every 2-4 hours, sometimes even every 1-2 hours or less. Just so you know: I've been like this since birth, so it's not a surprise or a disease. I do know the reason, but I'm not saying :P I've tried to normalize my sleep cycle so many times, but failed miserably. So I gave up & decided to follow whatever my body wants, with some exceptions.

6. I don't exercise, that's why my stomach fat is getting bigger & bigger! O_O

7. Wikipedia is where I search firsthand for any info. The latest interesting info is about The Knights Templar.

8. Although I can be considered a techie, I'm lazy to respond to emails. I don't really chat much as well. I always prefer face-to-face hangouts or phone calls.

9. I just loooove Real Player 11, for I can download videos easily at any video sites using its "download this video" button! Totally saves my day!

10. My normal browsing mode is 2 windows & 60+ tabs at one time. Could be more tabs depending on what I'm browsing. Almost 2 months ago, I'm used to have twice the number: 4 windows and 120+ tabs open at one time! However, Firefox is slower now rather than before. I wonder why... perhaps the increasing numbers of add-ons that I have installed.

11. I'm sad that I can't go to World Youth Day, but I'll sure be shopping for their merchandise!

12. I wish there were 30 hours a day, so I can focus more of my time for my photography hobby: touching up photos & post them on Flickr & my neglected photoblog.

13. I wanna learn Japanese! I love the language (especially how it sounds), I can already read hiragana & katakana, but I hate the kanji. I'll probably just learn the spoken Japanese, so that I can understand the RAW videos :P And also I can converse with the locals when I go to Japan xD

I'll probably add more as I think of more things. Hmm... 7 am. Time to sleep! :D
elyse: (perfect girl evolution: sunako)
Has anyone ever done something so horrible to you that "I'm sorry" couldn't fix it?

Oooh yes!
Actually, the person didn't even say "I'm sorry", because she didn't realize that she had made a huge mistake.
But if she were to say "I'm sorry", the damage done couldn't have been fixed in any way.

I'll explain more.
To protect the identity of those involved, I will be as ambiguous as possible.

A few years ago, I was horribly backstabbed. By a -supposedly- good friend whom I trusted with all my heart, who chose to backstab me over someone else that wasn't worth the effort, to begin with. It was proven right in front of our eyes only a few days after that backstabbing incident. But she didn't realize the damage she had done to me, not to mention that she didn't realize making the big mistake in the first place. It might not have meant anything to her, but it meant a great deal to me, because friendship starts from complete trust, at least for me.

See, I'm the type of person who can trust completely, until I'm cheated or find out that I shouldn't have trusted anyone that much in the first place. As I grew older, I was struck by the reality that, even though I've been so trusting all this time, people don't reciprocate or appreciate that effort.

So I learned a life lesson the hard way.
And even though I did forgive her by heart (without saying anything to her, because she didn't realize anything in the first place), I didn't forget the backstabbing incident. Memory cannot be erased; good or bad. And I have such a good memory, too! I couldn't deliberately push that memory into my subconsciousness, even if I wanted to so much.

I have, since then, become very careful in my relationship to her.
And deep inside my heart, I could never be the same Elyse again to her.
Maybe she did realize that I changed over time.
But as to what reason, she wasn't really clear.

C'est la vie.
And life goes on.
I'm still the same trustful Elyse, just maybe that quality decreases a bit.
elyse: (nodame cantabile: allegro)
What are 10 things you are thankful for?
  1. My life. Being alive. Being able to see the world.
  2. My family (parents, brother, grandparents, etc).
  3. My faith & gifts. It's a privilege. It's God's deepest desire within me.
  4. My health.
  5. My past, present, and future. Of what was, what is, what will come my way.
  6. My friends. True friends.
  7. My community. Domus Cordis.
  8. The internet!
  9. The opportunities which I have so luckily had ever since I was born.
  10. My brain.

The list might change every once in a while according to priorities & things that happen in my life as the days go by.
Or I might just post a new list by then ^^

Happy Thanksgiving!
elyse: (cute lady thinking...)

I just finished reminiscing the past :P While endlessly browsing, I bumped into the files of my old websites and decided to read the contents of my personal site (that used to be at the late ikkoku.net) and found interesting writing about the facts of my life. I will share it here, but please keep in mind that this was written about 7 years ago. I was no more than 20 at that time (I was still a junior studying MS&IS at Penn State). Just an ordinary college student next-door ^^

PS: I added links on some words below. You know, the wiki :D

Yep, that's it. I'm actually contemplating whether I should relive my personal site or don't even bother.. I don't know, I'm confused. But chances are slim.. Because if I want to relive my personal website, then I have to do everything almost from the scratch. You know, the layout design, the coding, the contents (to match my age now :P), basically everything. I'm just too lazy to do it all over again... Maybe I'll do something like this once in a while (posting entries or contents from the past), or maybe I'll put them in my profile page.. somewhere. I don't know, we'll see.

Carpe Diem

Mar. 10th, 2007 04:05 am
elyse: (paradise kiss: yukari)

Sometimes I miss the old time...

The time when my web dedication was much higher, the facility was much better, and the resources were more available. Of course I was speaking about my university years in the US. It was only 8 years ago, and the web has developed in an amazing speed! And as I continue to age through the years, my dedication has decreased and my interests have shifted greatly.

I used to write everyday, sometimes more than one entry each day. My old journal is the proof of the old glory. I used to maintain a few websites, including the late ikkoku.net. But see what's left of me now... only a simple pink (which actually isn't a favorite color) portal to my small collections of journals and galleries. I don't even design the layouts anymore.

Ah, speaking about layout designs & themes... That's one thing I miss from the old time. I used to design lots of them for my websites and weblog, but nowadays, with the convenience of available themes and templates, one is pampered too much. As for me, that reduces my creativity in designing. It's much more convenient to implement ready-to-install CMS or publishing platforms, and apply the widely available beautiful themes and templates. I do wish I could learn to make my own CMS/platform, or create my own theme... But I know that's impossible, given the place I currently live, the activities and jobs I have, the lack of facility, tools, and resources, and also the time... Time is precious. Time changes everything.

While searching for the perfect theme, I stumbled upon these amazing designs: part 1, part 2, part 3. I wish I could have half of their talents! I also wish I could devote my time to learning more css... My eyes are green with envy upon seeing how wonderful the folks featured at CSS Bloom are. Ahh.. the things that I miss... Maybe it's the trait of growing older, or maybe I'm just lazy, but I seem to miss a lot on the fast development of the web technology ever since I went back to Indonesia. There are so many web terms that I don't completely understand still. Scrobbling, for instance. They invent so many web terms that I have a hard time catching up with. I know I could learn if I want to, but to devote my time for the web technology while my job doesn't revolve around it requires such a big effort, and I have to lose sleep for it. And no, I can't afford to lose my sleeping hours... Yes, I sound so old, I know =P

So, to summarize, I think everything relates to the choices of life. I chose the activities I want to do, the jobs I want to take, and the interests I want to devote my time to. And there are things that I have to sacrifice, obviously. Although I sometimes miss the past, I have decided to lose sleep once in a while for the satisfaction of the soul and compensation of the sacrifices. Such as browsing endlessly for eyecandy designs, and satisfying the hunger of my eyes with the 50 beautiful css-based web designs and 83 beautiful wordpress themes :)

And here's just a little proof of the today's glory that was produced from a lot of sacrifices and efforts. If you understand what I mean..

All in all, it goes back to my life's motto: Carpe Diem.

See, even everything now has its wiki page for easy explanation!


"There are those relationships that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous..."
~ Carrie Bradshaw (from Sex and the City)

May 2010


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